"New Beginnings" - Learning Journal

Fri Nov 4, 2011.
NEW BEGINNINGS

I decided to get creative with my OP1a because I have been contemplating and attempting to write about my past for 2 weeks now since the RC course and I have come to the conclusion that I am severely avoiding this process. I have felt super needy and just wanted to be held whenever I feel the block in my heart that says “no I don't want to do it... in that way”. Without the time and space to fully integrate all that took place at the Gaia U Orientation, Bioneers and during 4 days of RC, I found it difficult to dive into such a large lake without full preparation. I require time alone in nature to do this. When ever I have a moment to begin writing, I feel tired and heavy and a certain amonut of dread. Last night when I had planned to write, i began collecting foods to eat instead. As I observed myself actively eating these foods of my past I remembered what it was like to be a child and to eat these same foods (toast, cereal and perogies!) in search of a good feeling, in search of a solution, comfort and answer to the anxious questioning and sadness I would feel. “I have written my old story already, that story is over. It was useful then, but now I must see differently.” I found myself this morning seeking an understanding of my resistance and through inner tracking found the inner voice of a small child, empowered... radiant in her self esteem, asking strongly to be heard... For once, for me to speak from her true voice. My true self.

SELF DISCOVERY

I am soul – an embodiment and creativity of Creator in the harmonic expression of human form. A daughter of the first children of the inspired energy that united the brilliant diversity of all the energies of the universe to converge into melodies of vibration. I am a physical solidification of these  energy as matter: body, mind, emotion. I am a true child of the universe because I remember myself! I do forget periodically as I adjust to my different lifetimes but my eternal nature never changes. No matter how long or difficult life's challenges are, they are always relieved by my remembrance of my eternal character.


We are children of an inspired creator. I am of the same origins as every human. When I feel balanced and whole I re-member who I am and I can see you clearly.